Imposter Syndrome Pep Talk

I’ve been thinking about imposter syndrome this past week.

I mean. The actual President of the US of A is a convicted felon. And he’s sitting in the White House just signing an insane amount of executive orders, and dismantling government agencies, and renaming bodies of water, and being blatantly racist, and we all have to watch in horror as it happens.

He’s never had imposter syndrome, I’m sure.

Photo by Nik on Unsplash

So why do I? Why do we? I think I know the answer. Being a woman… it’s much more common to feel inadequate and feel like we haven’t achieved enough — or for us to shy away from big opportunities because we don’t check off all the boxes.

Here’s the definition of imposter syndrome, in case you need to see it clearly in front of you:

The persistent inability to believe that one's success is deserved or has been legitimately achieved as a result of one's own efforts or skills.

I’m sure you’ve felt like this before! Especially as a woman.

Here are some examples of how it happens, literally all the time:

• Do you keep quiet in meetings sometimes? Even when you have strong opinions? For fear that you won’t look smart or someone will shoot you down?

• Have you delayed asking for a promotion or a raise?

• Have you not applied for a good looking job before because you don’t check off every single requirement they list out?

• Have you kept quiet about your accomplishments because you don’t want to be seen as someone who is self centered about their achievements and stuck up?

• Have you talked down to yourself about everything you’ve accomplished in your life?

• Have you felt that motherhood and being a mother makes you look less serious in your 9-5, even while you’re putting in extra hours after bedtime, pumping and working, taking care of sick kids — and meeting and rising above your work goals?

Can I tell you something right now? Even though it might be hard?

STOP TALKING TO YOURSELF LIKE THAT.

STOP IT RIGHT NOW!

You seriously need to stop thinking like the above.

There are currently very unqualified individuals dismantling the government as we speak. And you are sitting there thinking you’re not good enough for something — something you’ve dreamt of for a long time — something you have been wanting — all because you’re talking yourself down.

Here.

Talk yourself up.

Make a list of everything you’ve achieved over the years.

Walk into the room with confidence.

Here’s an example list of everything you’ve done, to show you how worthy you are of tackling the new goal you have:

• If you’re my age (nearing 40!), that means you’ve been in the workforce for 15 - 20 years. That means you have had at least one job for a very long time, if not 3-5 jobs already. Think about every single thing you do each day at those job(s). Make a list. It’s extraordinary.

• If you’re a mother, think about the amount of multi-tasking you do in a 12-16 hour span. For moms with a 9-5 outside of the kids — you do the following EACH DAY:

  • Get kids ready for school — feed, clothed, teeth brushed, hair brushed, emotional support and hugs all around.

  • Get yourself ready!

  • Drop off kids.

  • Get to work and get into work zone.

  • WORK butt off at job.

  • Keep running list of tasks for kids in head — such as — they need these items for school, food for parties at school, making doctor’s and dentist appointments, presents for friends’ bday parties, new clothes because they keep growing.

  • Keep running list of groceries. Worry about price of EVERYTHING.

  • Pick up kids.

  • Make dinner.

  • Clean dinner.

  • Give kids baths.

  • Get kids to bed (a 2-hour process most nights).

  • Get self to bed.

• If you’re a mom who stays at home with the kids — that entire list above is true, minus the “Work butt off” and replace with “Work butt off with kids at home” which is an EXTRAORDINARILY DIFFICULT TASK. I am not a stay-at-home-mom because I am not sure I could do it.

• Any entrepreneurial things you’ve embarked on count as major achievements. A lot of these things you’ve made little or no money with. For example, I blogged for years and years and it gained me immense experience in social media and writing and marketing. I also mark my photography business as one of my biggest achievements. I ran my own business. Successfully. I took pictures of dozens of weddings. I held this side gig on top of excelling at my 9-5. That’s amazing stuff! Do not downplay achievements like this!

• Do you volunteer? Any volunteer work counts as you-are-rocking-it-in-the-world, my friend.

• Do you make effort to hang out with friends and family? Also huge!

• Have you donated to charity?

• Have you planted a garden?

• Do you recycle?

• Do you encourage others to do good?

• Are you raising your kids the best you possibly can in this crazy world?

• Do you help your neighbors?

• Do you help friends in need?

• Do you offer support and love and open ears and hearts — even if people don’t take it, but know it’s there?

• Have you handwritten notes to people you love?

Photo by Katrina Wright on Unsplash

My friends.

Those are huge achievements and things you should absolutely, with all your heart, be proud of.

Please throw any feelings of imposter syndrome out the window.

You do that right now.

I’ll wait.

And if anyone tells you that you aren’t good enough for what you’re reaching for, please take a moment to reflect on your relationship with that person. If they are getting in your way or contributing to your imposter syndrome, tell them that no — you ARE good enough, and re-assess their place in your life.

OK now back to tackling amazing things.

Go get ‘em.

<3

Megan